I thought I was depressed.
I’ve been feeling a bit blah recently. Not down. Not sad. Not upset. Just, a bit blah.
Wondering if I was on the edge of depressed, I’ve been cleaning up my diet (no alcohol, no caffeine, no sugar/processed), increasing exercise, and watching less TV. (All things I know will move the needle when the dark edges of melancholy creep in.)
Nothing changed, and it was odd. I’ve never felt this way before. Just, ya know, here. But, not unhappy.
My mentor looked at me today after not seeing me for several weeks and said, “Your energy is really different today, like you’re really exuding so much feminine/yin energy”. And that’s when I realized…I haven’t been living at my stress threshold for a while now. My nervous system feels much more calm than I remember it ever being. Ever.
What if this is the feeling of being relaxed? Not stressing about things all the time? What if I don’t actually need sharp edges and taut nerves to feel alive? What if the roller coaster I’ve been on for much of my adult life is the anomaly and this placid lake top is the norm for my human self? Hmmm.
This is worthy of exploring more.
Whatever the case, I know that this (and all parts of each of our human cycles) is impermanent. Things won’t always feel this way. But I’d love to come to understand and embrace the gift of it. Not buying into what I think I should be experiencing, but instead noticing and getting curious about what I am.
Are you struggling with an experience? Want to navigate through difficult times with more ease and empowerment? Know that you are not alone. Know that being supported by like-minded, heart-centered community can shift the experience. Find those on a similar path and journey together. Get a mentor. Join a group. Connect and find ease in the knowledge that it’s ALL ok.